I just booked a flight with my ex...
No I didn't, but its a song lyric that won't leave me alone until I finally write about it
Please, if I book a flight with my ex, institutionalize me immediately.
Firstly, shout out LYVIA for the inspiration for this post, you’ll have to give us the update on how that flight went. Now let’s get into it…
There’s something about the idea of getting back together with an ex that seems so romantic on the surface. The running back to each other, to someone who knows you better than anyone. It’s almost poetic - two people against all odds, trying once more to make it work. But if we’re being real for a second (& bffr), we need to ask ourselves a harder question: why did it end in the first place?
You get back together, convincing yourself that this time will be different. You’ve matured, things have changed, and maybe now it’ll finally click. But more often then not, you quickly discover that the issues you once had are still lingering, barely concealed beneath the thrill of the reunion. The same arguments resurface, the same incompatibilities reemerge, and before you know it, you’re back at the point where you started, wondering why you thought this time would be any different.
I’ve been on that rollercoaster ride myself. Actually, I’ve had multiple relationships, where we broke up, got back together, and broke up again. Always thinking that it was destined to work out in the end. We’d go our separate ways for a short amount of time, and then somehow always find our way back to each other. Each time we reunited, I thought, "This is it, we’re finally ready." And for a while, it would feel like I was right. We’d fall back into old routines, laugh at the same jokes, and for a moment, it felt like we were rewriting our story. But eventually, the same cracks began to show. The differences in how we communicated, the things we wanted out of life, the way we handled conflict (or didn't handle conflict) were still there, just waiting to resurface.
The thing about exes is that they already know you - the good, the bad, and the ugly. This familiarity can be comforting, even addictive. We find it easier to slip back into the arms of someone we already understand, someone who has been our best friend, than to embark on the path of meeting someone new, opening up, and navigating all the messiness and nerves of a fresh start. But the issue with that is - it keeps us tethered to our past and prevents us from growing beyond the version of ourselves that existed in that relationship. We choose comfort over progress, even if it means staying stuck. Growth happens when we learn from our relationships, not when we keep repeating them.
I remember the last time we tried to make it work. I truly believed it was the final chapter that would end with a happily ever after. But instead, it ended with the same heartache, the same realization that we were better off apart. It hurt to finally accept that love alone wasn’t enough to fix what was broken. Letting go felt like losing a piece of myself, but it was also the first step towards finding who I was without them. And that’s the thing - sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself, and for the person you once loved, is to let go.
There’s something beautiful about giving yourself the space to grow, about allowing the past to stay in the past, and about trusting that something better is out there - for both of you.
So yeah, maybe I’ll keep that flight with my ex in the song lyrics where it belongs (or with the Lyvia to navigate for us). In real life? I’m choosing to believe that the best flights are the ones I haven’t booked yet.
xx, G